JOKE: The Prisoner

A man wrote a letter to his son in prison;
Kalii, ever since you were sentence to prison, i have not been able to plant any crop for dis year because there is nobody to help me clear my farm. 

The Boy replied;
Papa, don't try and clear it, do you want to expose me, have you forgotten i hide the bag of money on that farm. Before the letter was delivered to the father, one of the police officers read it. The following day, four police officers hurried off, cleared d farm, and found nothing. 

The Boy wrote another letter to his Father;
Papa, your farm has been cleared. You can now go and plant on it.

 hahaha.....please laugh, laugh very well. More to come....
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Joke: The Aeroplane Cleaner

One day, pidho, an aeroplane cleaner was cleaning the pilot cockpit when he saw a book entitled "HOW TO FLY AN AEROPLANE FOR BEGINNERS VOLUME 1".
He opened the first page which said, "to start the engine, press the red button." he did so and the plane engine started.
He was so pleased and opened the next page, "to set aeroplane moving, press the blue button." he did so and the plane started moving at an amazing speed.
He w...anted to fly so he opened the 3rd page which said, "to let the airplane fly, press the green button." he did so and the plane started to fly, he was so happy.
After 20 minutes of flying, he was satisfied and wanted to land... so he decided to go to the 4th page.
He fainted after reading the instructions. the 4th page said ..."to learn how to land a plane, please watch out for volume 2!".

Joke: The Psychiatrist And His Patients

A psychiatrist wanted to
know how many of his
patients have been cured
of madness, so he
assembled them in a
classroom and drew a big
door on the board.
He then told the class that
if anyone could open the
door on the board, that
person would receive a
gift of N20,000 and would
be free to go home.
On hearing this, they all
rushed to the board to
open the door, except one
young man who remained
in his seat at the back
smiling.
The psychiatrist, with joy
and excitement on his face
seeing that somebody has
been cured of madness,
went to him and asked,
why didn’t u join your
mates to open the door?
The young man replied,
"dont mind those mad
people, they are just
fooling themselves, dem
no know say the key dey
my pocket…"

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JOKE: Student And The Teacher

A student at college had failed his
final law papers and was obviously not happy, he
questioned the professor &
decided to make a deal with him
'professor, do u consider yourself
to know everything about the
law? He asked. 'Absolutely,
otherwise i would not be capable
of standing in front of you & lecturing you on the subject' he
replied. The student continued; if
you can answer this question, i will agree with you & accept my
final marks, if u cannot, you have
to give me an 'A" the professor laughed but agreed. The boy
continued, 'what is legal but not
logical, logical but not legal & neither
legal nor logical? The professor thought about it for hours and
pondered no answer. He had to finally give up as he really did not
know. He gave the boy his 'A' the
following day at lecture, the
professor was still struggling with
this unknown mystery & decided to pose the question to his
students: class, what is legal but not logical,
logical but not legal & neither legal nor logical? He paused for a second in shock when all students
raised their hands with a possible
answer. He pointed out one student and
waited: sir, you're 65, married to a 28 yrs old woman, dis is legal but not logical, your wife, is having an affair with a 23 year old boy, dis is logical but not legal,
your wife's boyfriend has failed his exam & yet u have given him
an 'A'. that is neither logical nor legal'. The professor collapsed..........
hahaa....lmao

JOKE: The Marriage

-Before Marriage
Man: I have been waiting for this day.
Woman: Do u want me to leave??
Man: NO!!!!
Woman: Do u love me?
Man: Of Course
Woman: Will u ever cheat on me??
Man: Never in my life
Woman: Will u ever kiss me?
Man: Every chance i get
Woman: Will u hit me??
Man: Are u crazzy..!
Woman: Can i trust u??
Man: Yes..!!
Woman: Sweet Heart..!
-After Marriage-
(now read from bottom to top)

HAHAHAHA

JOKE: Pastor And The Sinner

 

A man went to his pastor, knelt down and began confessing tearfully:
Pastor, I have sinned.
PASTOR : My son, what did you do, just confess what exactly you did?
God Almighty will forgive you.
MAN: (sobbing), Pastor I committed adultery with several of the female church members
PASTOR : can you mention their names and how many times you slept with each of them? You see, for your forgiveness to be complete, you need to mention them, so that we can also pray for them.
MAN...: Aaaah Pastor I can't, I am ashamed.
PASTOR; Okay this is what we will do; after service, we will go to the church entrance together and watch members come out, once anyone you have slept with comes out, just say 'pau'. If it is once you slept with her - the Number of times you say 'pau' will indicate the Number of times you slept with that particular person.
And so they went to the church entrance.
Head usher passes wriggling her buttocks.
MAN: Pau. Pau
PASTOR : The Lord forgive you.
Deacon’s wife passes carrying Bible.
MAN: Pau
PASTOR :May the Lord forgive you.
A choir member passes singing.
MAN: Pau pau pau pau pau pau
PASTOR: God will forgive you. Yes, he will.
Low and behold… Pastor’s wife passes by and Man goes off like a machine gun.
MAN: Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau
Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau
Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau
Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau
Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau
Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau
Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau
Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau
Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau
Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau
Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau
PASTOR: God punish u God will never forgive you..,!

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JOKE: The Barber's Wife

  A guy stuck his head into a barber's shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said,"About 2 hours." The guy left.

A few days later the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looked around at the shop and said, "About 3 hours." The guy left.

A week later the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked,"How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looked around the shop and said, "About an hour only." The guy left.

The barber turned to a friend and said, "Ken, please do me a favor, follow that guy and see where he goes.
He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then he doesn’t ever come back".

A little while later, Ken returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.
The barber asked, "So where does that guy go whenever he leaves here?" Ken looked up, with tears in his eyes and said, "To your wife at home."

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