Nagging
is one of the most irritating cliches of relationship. If you have a
nagging girlfriend you need to get it under control before she drives
you out the door. Be honest, sometimes her nagging is justified but now
that it has become a barrier in your relationship you need to do
something. Follow these steps to get your girlfriend to stop nagging
you.
1. Listen when she talks. For
many relationships, nagging occurs because your girlfriend feels you
ignore her. Start by listening when she talks. Be aware that if she is
nagging in the middle of the ball game, you cannot stop her. Instead
when the game is over it is time to sit down together and talk out your
issues. Once she sees you are willing to do so, she should stop
interrupting future games.
2. Ask what she wants. Your
girlfriend might be nagging about the dishes in the sink when she is
really upset about something else. She might want you to take her out to
dinner and the dishes are just how that complaint is manifesting
itself. Ask her and then listen to her answer.
3. Share the chores. If
your girlfriend is nagging about housework, she probably has a point.
Does she do all the cooking, cleaning and laundry? What do you offer to
the relationship? Your girlfriend wants to be your partner, not your
maid. She works too so complaining that you worked all day is not
sufficient and devalues the fact that she did the same. Get up and do
your part.
4. Stop over-promising. You
might think that agreeing when she nags is the best thing to get her
off your back. The problem is that when you agree and then don’t do what
you agreed to, you have just upset her more. Instead, listen to what
she is asking you to do then either say no or find a compromise. If you
agree, if you promise to do something, then do it. Then she will stop
nagging you about it.
5. Keep her updated. Your
girl might just be suffering from the space between you. If you don’t
talk to her or tell you what’s going on, she has to ask which you might
take as nagging. If you promised to clean the garage, then tell her when
you will do it. If something happens to change that, tell her and
arrange for another time. Keep your girlfriend updated and she will see
that you value the promises you make to her.
6. Provide constructive responses. Avoid
telling her to stop nagging. Most women hate nagging you as much as you
hate them doing it. Instead when you are talking together, setting
goals and making promises, provide her with some constructive criticism.
Say to her, “When you ask me to do something, I will do it but in my
own time and when you repeat yourself I feel that you don’t trust me to
do what I agreed to do.” Make the statement about you and your feelings
not about what she is doing wrong.
7.Spend time with her. If
the nagging in your relationship is motivated by your girlfriend
feeling ignored then the only way to fix it is to spend time with her.
Take her out or watch TV together in the evening. Find what she enjoys
and try to do it together. Time may be all you need.
Stop
your girlfriend nagging with these simple steps. If you put in the
time, you will reap the rewards of a more peaceful and loving
relationship.
