I love people.
And I love expressing myself. It seemed like the perfect site. I went ahead and logged on to this site. I was excited. I put my name and information, and voila! I had a profile!
It was a fantastic site! I found some friends i had not seen in a long time! I met some new cool people! I wrote notes and left comments on other peoples notes! I poked, joined a mob and sent a gift!
I no longer needed my email because i could just send a facebook message. I no longer needed my phone because i could just write on a wall. I no longer needed a diary because facebook told me when it was my friends birthdays. And i saved money because I did not buy cards…
It was perfect! Why had no one thought of it before? No wonder this was the newest biggest site! No wonder it was giving Google a run for its money and making yahoo and Gmail panic! No wonder it was the site everyone spoke about- pastors, imams, bosses and area boys
No wonder no one spoke again… they just put it on facebook.
Oh wait!
That was where the problem started….
Those friends that i found? I remembered why I lost contact with some of them before. Now, I cannot loan your money, and of course not, how would I have removed you from my friends list?
The new cool people? Well one of them is now a stalker. I have turned my phone’s GPRS off as I type this. He traces me you see, and randomly shows up. I know it is not random. He could not have needed a bikini wax last week.
My notes! Ah you see! For every opinion, there is a counter-opinion. And the counter is not always a nice counter. Plus, it is no fun when the joke…or note… is on you!
As for mob wars and fake gifts… well, when I missed my first few deadlines, my boss understood. But when we lost that contract because I just had to make a few more online friends zombies before sending that email which it turns out I never did send because after turning people into zombies I realised that… well, let us just say it is a Monday and I am not at work at the moment.
And it turns out bosses do not like it when you send them official messages via facebook. Infact, bosses do not like facebook. Period.
My friends banned me from their walls after I told them to check this site xjfuas\jdskd because their picture was there. They checked. They did not see their picture. They did see themselves getting blocked from their own account. And their passwords being jacked. And their computers being infected.
And all those birthday reminders? Well, how many friends did I have before facebook! I know I do not have to call all of them and send cards, but the time I spend clicking on their pages and writing happy birthday messages on their walls… plus! How can I stay creative and funny when there are ten birthdays. Every day? ‘Happy Birthday love’ seemed to do the trick. Until I put that on my colleague’s wall. He is married. Well, at least he was. You see, on the day I put that message up, my profile picture was of him with me at the office party. Hugging.
So you see, you have to forgive me, but after I click ‘send’ and publish this article, I will sell this laptop and my blackberry and join ‘life’.
Life is where you are when you go to a club and actually dance, or go to a friend’s house and actually have fun, instead of updating your status on how you will dance to the song, or how much fun you are having.
Life is where you actually speak with your sister who is sitting beside you, instead of poking her, or sending her a message asking her to change the channel so you can watch ‘Fringe’.
I am done!
What? Twitter did you say? Like mini-blogging? Fun? The next thing?
Okay. Sigh. It won’t hurt to just check it out. I guess!
